Two Masters

I had to give a presentation in front of a group of people yesterday. There were two people in the back of the room who were grading my presentation. It is pass or fail. If you fail, you lose your job, something they neglected to tell me when they promoted me.

You know what I did? I laid down and let fear consume me. It choked me, made my heart beat faster, caused my mouth to be so dry I could barely speak. It kept telling me, "Give up, you can't do this..." first in a whisper, then in shouts. I made it through my presentation, in torment of how I did, going over and over the places I made mistakes, and let the fear and anxiety remain there at the pit of my stomach.

This morning I was sure I failed. I had to force myself to read my bible. (why is that?) The Lord reminded me that no man can serve two masters, he will hate one and love the other and that His blessings make rich and they add no sorrow to it. When I interviewed for this job, I had to do a presentation. The difference between this one and the first one was I prayed, sought God, and had His peace. I was confident in Him that He would help me.I got the job. They told me later I did an outstanding job on the interview. This time I stumbled through it even though I knew the material and prepared for it. I want God to be my Master, whom I serve, not fear. Such a better way to lay in my Father's arms and trust in Him. Why do I fight Him so?

Today I make the choice, that no matter what happens, I'm gonna trust in God, trust in Jesus. Without fear and without shame. I'm gonna keep my eyes on the one who loves me.